And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
