the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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