a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
