Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
