I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
