And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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