White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
