i don't like sucking hair
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drake has all the answers
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
