So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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