I wannas sexs uuuuu
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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