I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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