i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
