i would punch a child for taco bell
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
