i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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