If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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