I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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