I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
