she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
