She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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