so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
