it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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