the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
