Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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