I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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