So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
