Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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