Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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