I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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