clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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