Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
