Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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