Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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