Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
