just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
