ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
