She is in my trunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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