Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
