I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
