I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
