I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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