i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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