I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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