You work out of a Hotel?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
