What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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