I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
