I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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