i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
