I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
