is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
