Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
